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Spiritual
abuse is mistreatment to someone who is in the dire need of
spiritual help out of his (or her) unbearable and bitter life
experiences. Normally we tend to seek help from
God when we are in difficulty. In a search of God, we
reach to religious places like temples, churches or
mutts where -few times- we come across real unscrupulous
(dubious) elements, those disguised themselves as the representative of God.
They emotionally blackmail the needy by misusing of a position of
power (like pontiff), leadership, or influence to
foster the selfish
interests of someone else other than the individual who needs
help. Such mischievous elements prey upon needy person's genuine
intension of seeking help from God or the almighty power.
They purport their advice to be the 'most appropriate' advice in
that
critical life situation. Abuse occurs because of
legitimate personal needs that are being met by
illegitimate means. Spiritually abusive religious
systems are sometimes pretended as legalistic, mind
controlling, spiritual healing systems and religiously helpful to work out solution in
your life problem.
Over the period of time, the victim gradually gets entrapped in
the trap of abusers. The group tends to mold the psyche
of victim in
a manner that he (or she) start inclining towards usefulness of beliefs and rituals
(-prescribed by abusers) in resolving their life problem. The
most distinctive characteristic of a spiritually abusive
religious system, or leader, is the over-emphasis on
authority. Because a group claims to have been
established by God OR supposed to be directly linked to God for their
decisions and (-it is further believed that) God Himself directs
the leader in this system is having the right to command
the followers. This
authority supposedly comes from the position they
occupy. The abusive religious system is scrupulous to
maintain an image of righteousness. The organization's
history is often misrepresented in the effort to
demonstrate the organization's special relationship to
God and normally full with imaginary stories,
experiences and testimonials. They were never wrong so
the mistaken judgments and character flaws of its
leaders are denied or covered up in order to validate
their authority. Impossibly high legalistic standards of
thought and behavior may be imposed upon the members.
Their failure to live up to these standards is a
constant reminder of the follower's disloyalty and
inferiority to his leaders, and lack of honesty up to
the mark and the necessity of submission to them. The
attitude of groups by way of some rituals and customs
leads to members being secretive about some doctrines
and the inner policies and procedures of the group.
Leaders, especially, will keep secrets from their
members. This secrecy is rooted in a basic distrust of
others because the belief system itself is false and cannot
stand before scrutiny. Because the religious system is not
based on the truth it cannot allow questions, dissent,
or open discussions about issues. The person who
disagrees becomes the problem to system rather than the issue he
has raised. Questioning anything is considered a challenge
to authority and rebel against God. Thinking for
personal opinion is suppressed by pointing out that it
leads to doubts. This is portrayed as unbelief in God
and His anointed leaders. Thus the follower controls his
own thoughts by fear of doubting God.
A most obvious assumption of such group is that a person
does not get something for nothing. If you want
something from God, then there must be a sacrifice in
lieu! Apart from the express declarations of salvation
by grace through faith God has given in the scriptures,
it would be natural to think that one must earn
salvation, or at least work to keep it. Thus, in abusive
religions all blessings come through performance of
spiritual requirements. Failure is strongly condemned so
there is only one alternative, repetition and
perfection. So long as he thinks he is succeeding in his
observation of the rules, the follower typically
exhibits pride, elitism, and arrogance. However, when
reality and failure eventually set in, the result is the
person experiences spiritual burnout, or even shipwreck
of his faith. Those who fail in their efforts are
labeled as apostates, weak, or some other such term so
that they can be discarded by the system. Spiritual
abuse has a devastating effect on people. A very high
level of trust is often placed in spiritual leaders. It
is, and ought to be, expected that the trust will be
honored and guarded. When such trust is violated the
wound is very deep. Sometimes the wound is so deep that
the wounded person cannot trust even a legitimate
spiritual authority again. The main symptom is the
inability to relate normally to people who represent the
source of their emotional injury or hurt. Besides an unhealthy
fear of, and disillusionment with, spiritual
authorities, the spiritually abused person may find it
difficult to trust even God. "How could (or why
did) God let this happen to me?" Anger and
bitterness towards life is also deeply felt. Such
legitimate anger or bitterness if not properly channeled and dealt
with, can degenerate into bitterness and cynicism toward
everything that is supposed to be spiritual. Healthy recovery from spiritual
abuse must begin with understanding what has happened
and how it was happened? As the leader deals with each
individual differently, victim usually thinks he is the
only one experiencing these problems and other group
member are getting desired results. Many time the abuse
tends to self-condemnation tendencies and prey to
frustration. While recovering gradually the abused
person learns the true nature of God's grace, love and
forgiveness. This is the foundation for being able to
eventually forgive the abuser. Finally, a lot of time
must be allowed for full recovery. Victims of spiritual
abuse must implement to regain their psychological
equilibrium and be restored to spiritual wellness.
In Spiritual Abuse, people have been hurt by legalism,
authoritarian leadership, manipulation, excessive
discipline, spiritual intimidation and much more. Why do
some people stay in abusive relationships? Or, why do
they get into them in the first place? Spiritual abuse
means the mistreatment or exploitation of a person who
is in the dire need of help, support or greater spiritual
empowerment, with the result of weakening, undermining
or decreasing power of that person's spiritual empowerment. The
abuse and exploitation occurring in groups where these
hyper-authoritarian systems of governance are instituted
come in various shapes and shades, ranging from members
having to receive the approval (usually referred to as
"witness") of their spiritual leaders to date
and/or marry, to virtual sole dependence upon the
supposed superior spirituality of group-gurus regarding
every detail of their personal, financial matters and
requiring their leaders' approval for virtually every
significant expenditure. In these groups, the Guru is
absolute, sacrosanct, and inviolable, that is, without
reprisal. Any semblance of anything other than total and
unquestioning obeisance to the desires and counsel of
the chain of leaders is considered rebellion and
insubordination, and simply is not tolerated. Members
live under the constant threat of being openly denounced
and shamed from the authority, and consequently turn
away from the Grace of God.
After disillusionment phase the victim gets overwhelmed
under mixed feelings-the shock, the anger, the
confusion, and the sadness. Grieving over losses is
vital in recovery. Grieving may continues for longer
period, it may take more time. If the victims still
agree abusers
as agents of God, they might have begun to view God
himself as deceptive, self-serving, dictatorial,
capricious, power-hungry, punitive, shaming, uncaring,
and unloving. Victim often asks God,
"Why do you put up with pastors like that? Why you
let people suffer any kind of abuse?" Spiritual
abuse means trifling with the emotions of needy. Proper 'behavior
management by controlling emotions' may boost our inner confidence in a manner
to face difficult life situations and you may realize that God is with us always,
comforting us, helping us, sort out our feelings, healing
our wounds, and setting us on the path to
recovery.
Spiritual Abuse; mentality of Spiritual abuse victims and Negative emotions co-relation.
Often
the victims of "Spiritual Abuse"
appear as weak at emotional level. A bad relationship, poor
self image, a history of abuse, stress, frustration and many
other factors
can change your overall attitude towards life which may
directly impede your overall performance. Such
tendencies are deep-rooted in mind and nurtured by
excessive Negative
Emotions.
It is needless to mention that these negative emotions
are tremendously powerful. They can debilitate lives
extremely quick by causing disparity in energy system,
which triggers a sequence of emotional imbalance (i.e.
frustration, melancholia, persistent agony, mental
instability, uncontrolled anger, inferiority complex
etc.), which ultimately culminates in ill health.
Lessen "Negative
Emotions"
in psyche. (i.e. frustration, uncontrolled anger,
bitterness, excessive shame, guilt, arrogance, envy,
jealousy, greed, fear, suspicious nature, inferiority
complex, persistent agony or melancholy, mental
instability, escapism or shilly-shallying tendencies,
communication apprehension, poor will power, low
grasping, absentmindedness, sloth, laziness, dawdling,
dodging etc.) 
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